My Initiation... into College.

So, I promised all of you that I would share my college encounters with nutrition. To say the least, it was a roller coaster. However, I would never take back the experiences that I had because I learned a lot about myself as a person and a lot about my body as a woman.

My freshman year, I missed the orientation. I actually showed up just in time for my first class that week because I had been in Pasadena, California competing for the title of Miss Teen USA 2008. Excitingly, I won Miss Photogenic 2008, but I did not win Miss Teen USA. So, I was flown back home to Maryland and into college that same weekend. I couldn't wait. No more "miss perfect". I just wanted to be with my friends and on my own. I was so sick of caring about what other people thought of me. Totally immature to feel this way, I now know.

I never experimented with drugs, nor did I have the desire to. However, drinking was very accessible and everyone I knew at college was doing it. Plus, it was a good way to break the ice and get to know your fellow classmates. So I drank, a lot. There was a point in time where my roommates and I would drink 5 out of 7 days a week. It was ridiculously stupid. We would get ridiculously stupid. Sure, a lot of great memories were made, but did I even remember all of them? I suppose I went through this phase because I hardly drank in high school; it was like my time to rebel. One morning my roommates and I woke up and went to brush our teeth. Our hands were shaking so badly from the alcohol that we could hardly control the toothbrush. That's when we cut our drinking down to just the weekends. That wasn't the only negative outcome of my partying. My grades were in turmoil. My GPA was down to a 2.5 because I wasn't studying and I was hardly showing up for class, due to hangovers. At the end of my fall semester I was put on academic probation, which put my scholarship on hold. I had the spring semester to pull up my grades or else my scholarship would be dropped. If my scholarship was dropped I would no longer be going to this school, considering it was about $40,000.00 a year.

Did I mention that exercise (other than walking to and from class and to and from parties) was non-existent? It was so not my behavior. So, that spring I came back with a little more motivation. I started to incorporate cardio workouts into my schedule and I signed up for a few dance classes. I also started working with a tutor at the library to help me improve my grades. I drank less, maybe once a week or so, but I still drank. I was then initiated into a sorority. With all of the social events drinking became more prevalent again. My grades were up to a 3.0 GPA. This was because I had to also maintain a high GPA in order to be in a sorority. My life was improving, but then things got crazy again.

My mother had been diagnosed with Lung Cancer (environmentally induced) when I was 17. After a year and a half of battling it, she passed away March 17, 2008. I lost my mind.

I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't speak.

My grades in my Honors Biology class dropped tremendously. I couldn't even focus. I ended up having to withdrawal from the class, that way it wouldn't affect my GPA. My sorority was extremely supportive and they still are to this day. Then, my drinking turned into a dangerous habit. It was the only way that I could open up. I became dependent on having a drink to feel good again and to feel like I could socialize with people again without being upset. Due to the overwhelming usage of alcohol, I was diagnosed with Acid Reflux Disease. My esophagus was burned out. I couldn't digest food without heartburn or regurgitating it back up. My doctor had me remove all acidic beverages and foods out of my diet. She thought it may have been caused from too much dark pizza sauce or chocolate. I knew it was from drinking.

There I was at 18 years old, diagnosed with a disease that people usually get when they're 45. I had aged the inside of my body that much in just a small amount of time. Alcohol was no longer my friend.

I went back to school my sophomore year and that summer before I sunk myself into books and magazines about health and nutrition. I so desperately wanted to regain my good health again. I had a gym membership all summer and I was learning so much, even how to cook healthy foods. I had picked up cooking in order to take care of my Dad, and I wanted to make sure that he was healthy too.

When I returned to school that year, I had more confidence and I was living in a better environment where the peer pressure wasn't as overwhelming. I drank on occasion, but I was really involved in my schoolwork and dance team, so I didn't even have the time. My GPA went up to a 3.5 and I lost about 8 lbs. just staying busy and focused and watching what I ate. I made healthier choices in the dining hall and I even had some healthy snacks to my availability in my dorm room.

After these tremendous improvements in my health and well being, my agent had asked me to pick up modeling again. I started spending my weekends going to and from Philadelphia, PA or to and from West Chester, PA for QVC gigs that I hardly ever had time to drink or even think about alcohol. My modeling jobs were becoming more and more demanding and I was then presented the opportunity to travel to New York City to compete in a convention for more exposure.

Without question I took advantage of that opportunity. At the convention I was awarded Young Adult Actress of the Year 2009 and Fitness Model of the Year 2009. It was then that I was being asked to move to LA in hopes of continuing my career. Career or not, I jumped on the opportunity and withdrew from school. Now, here I am in Los Angeles, CA writing to all of you.

Until next time,
AF

My First Blog

Hello and welcome to a blog regarding the beautiful relationship I share with my long lost lover: Nutrition. I have always displayed a personal fascination with health and wellness for such a young age. The idea of "eating healthy" was first introduced to me when I was 15 years old. I had just made the Varsity Cheerleading Squad in my high school and I did not have a fear of heights like most of the other girls on my squad. I was light enough to become a flier, a position I had longed for. This meant that I was going to be the star of all the stunts during the half time shows and pep rallies. It was a huge deal to me! My teammates would throw me up in the air and I would look pretty. It seemed easy enough.

It was a lot of fun until I realized the pressure to maintain this position, for it was a competitive one. Before our Friday night football games the entire squad and football team would go out for an early dinner at the pizza joint across the street from our high school. The collection of pepperoni pizza, cheese fries, hot wings, and soda that ended up all over the tables in that small space amazed me. However, my back spot (one of the lifters in the stunts) would slap my hand if I even dared to touch a fry.

"You better not be eating that. I have to lift your ass up tonight." She would set me straight.

So, there I was in the corner alone drinking my water with lemon and eating Chicken Caesar Salad... with no dressing and no cheese. After comments like that one, I no longer had an appetite. Then, I experienced a minor epidemic of Anorexia. My teammates had no problem lifting me up in the air, for I was light as a feather weighing in at 105 lbs. and at the height of 5'7". Along with this pressure to be thin came the dizzy spells, fainting, headaches, nausea, constipation, and irritability. They may have included me as a flier in all of the stunts over the next 3 years in my high school career, but there was always a question of whether I'd make it through a 2 hour practice without fainting or having a panic attack.

That wasn't my only encounter with a lack of nutrition. During my senior year of high school I engaged in beauty pageants. My main focus being able to win the title of Miss Maryland Teen USA 2007. That year that I competed I was in the midst of all physical and mental stress. Applying to colleges, senior year deadlines, final year of Cheerleading, and yes my final year to eligibly win the title of Miss Maryland Teen USA 2007. I ended up taking home the title that year and with much gratitude and excitement, the stress inevitabley piled on. I had to get focused on winning the national title of Miss Teen USA 2008. I was to represent Maryland at the national level. This privilege no longer existed at the community service and public speaking level; I had to be the prettiest and the best. The weight of the entire state was on my shoulders. I went from anorexia to a lot of fast food eating in the car as my father and I toured the state on the weekends for pageant appearances. Then, as the time of nationals came closer, I noticed I had actually gained weight when I wanted to maintain my thin figure. Looking back, I looked way healthier with a little weight, but comments from pageant mentors convinced me otherwise.

"We need to get you back down to what you were last fall. Your cheeks were much more chiseled compared to what they are now." A personal coach had mentioned this to me. I understand her comment was not at all meant to be negative, but at a young age everything is taken out of context.

My appetite had changed from what it was during cheerleading season. I had gained 8 lbs. and I was hungrier. I was hormonal and I was growing hips that wanted lots and lots of sugar to numb the pain. I immediately dug into the "100 Calorie Pack" and "Special K" and "Lean Cuisine" phase of my life. At age 17, I wanted to eat delicious food on the go and not feel any bit of remorse. At least with these products, everyone could see that I was trying and that's all that mattered to me.

To say the least, my "low calorie substitute" diet definitely didn't work either. If anything I screwed up my young metabolism. I would go from extreme sugar highs to extreme lows. My appetite increased even more and my body would go on food binges thinking that somehow I was in starvation mode.

That was my high school encounter with nutrition and health. Not exactly the ideal path you would want to follow, but I feel as if all of us have these questions and desires for knowledge about this topic and we sometimes feel pressured by the environment in which we live to give into these grueling patterns of malnutrition and illness. My experiments with health and wellness did not end there. When I got to college, the pressure grew even more and my curiosity
exploded... I'll save that story for next time.

AF