Hello and welcome to a blog regarding the beautiful relationship I share with my long lost lover: Nutrition. I have always displayed a personal fascination with health and wellness for such a young age. The idea of "eating healthy" was first introduced to me when I was 15 years old. I had just made the Varsity Cheerleading Squad in my high school and I did not have a fear of heights like most of the other girls on my squad. I was light enough to become a flier, a position I had longed for. This meant that I was going to be the star of all the stunts during the half time shows and pep rallies. It was a huge deal to me! My teammates would throw me up in the air and I would look pretty. It seemed easy enough.
It was a lot of fun until I realized the pressure to maintain this position, for it was a competitive one. Before our Friday night football games the entire squad and football team would go out for an early dinner at the pizza joint across the street from our high school. The collection of pepperoni pizza, cheese fries, hot wings, and soda that ended up all over the tables in that small space amazed me. However, my back spot (one of the lifters in the stunts) would slap my hand if I even dared to touch a fry.
"You better not be eating that. I have to lift your ass up tonight." She would set me straight.
So, there I was in the corner alone drinking my water with lemon and eating Chicken Caesar Salad... with no dressing and no cheese. After comments like that one, I no longer had an appetite. Then, I experienced a minor epidemic of Anorexia. My teammates had no problem lifting me up in the air, for I was light as a feather weighing in at 105 lbs. and at the height of 5'7". Along with this pressure to be thin came the dizzy spells, fainting, headaches, nausea, constipation, and irritability. They may have included me as a flier in all of the stunts over the next 3 years in my high school career, but there was always a question of whether I'd make it through a 2 hour practice without fainting or having a panic attack.
That wasn't my only encounter with a lack of nutrition. During my senior year of high school I engaged in beauty pageants. My main focus being able to win the title of Miss Maryland Teen USA 2007. That year that I competed I was in the midst of all physical and mental stress. Applying to colleges, senior year deadlines, final year of Cheerleading, and yes my final year to eligibly win the title of Miss Maryland Teen USA 2007. I ended up taking home the title that year and with much gratitude and excitement, the stress inevitabley piled on. I had to get focused on winning the national title of Miss Teen USA 2008. I was to represent Maryland at the national level. This privilege no longer existed at the community service and public speaking level; I had to be the prettiest and the best. The weight of the entire state was on my shoulders. I went from anorexia to a lot of fast food eating in the car as my father and I toured the state on the weekends for pageant appearances. Then, as the time of nationals came closer, I noticed I had actually gained weight when I wanted to maintain my thin figure. Looking back, I looked way healthier with a little weight, but comments from pageant mentors convinced me otherwise.
"We need to get you back down to what you were last fall. Your cheeks were much more chiseled compared to what they are now." A personal coach had mentioned this to me. I understand her comment was not at all meant to be negative, but at a young age everything is taken out of context.
My appetite had changed from what it was during cheerleading season. I had gained 8 lbs. and I was hungrier. I was hormonal and I was growing hips that wanted lots and lots of sugar to numb the pain. I immediately dug into the "100 Calorie Pack" and "Special K" and "Lean Cuisine" phase of my life. At age 17, I wanted to eat delicious food on the go and not feel any bit of remorse. At least with these products, everyone could see that I was trying and that's all that mattered to me.
To say the least, my "low calorie substitute" diet definitely didn't work either. If anything I screwed up my young metabolism. I would go from extreme sugar highs to extreme lows. My appetite increased even more and my body would go on food binges thinking that somehow I was in starvation mode.
That was my high school encounter with nutrition and health. Not exactly the ideal path you would want to follow, but I feel as if all of us have these questions and desires for knowledge about this topic and we sometimes feel pressured by the environment in which we live to give into these grueling patterns of malnutrition and illness. My experiments with health and wellness did not end there. When I got to college, the pressure grew even more and my curiosity
exploded... I'll save that story for next time.
AF
No comments:
Post a Comment